Ghosting - Why it happens and how to handle it

In today's world, it is common to experience sudden silence from someone you care about. You might find yourself wondering why they stopped responding, especially when everything seemed fine. This unexpected disappearance can leave you feeling confused and hurt. Understanding why this happens and how to cope with it is important for your emotional well-being.

Being ghosted can deeply impact your self-esteem and make you question your value. It often happens suddenly, leaving no warning or explanation, which can be surprising and unsettling. The person who is ghosted is left with unanswered questions, feeling confused about what went wrong in a relationship they thought they understood. This uncertainty can be harder to deal with than knowing the truth about why the connection ended. The emotional weight of not having closure can make it difficult to move on and find peace. However, life does not stop and we should learn to move on with it. In this article, we shall look at some of the best ways to deal with ghosting.

Do not waste time in looking for a closure: Understand that you do not need the reason behind the ghosting to move forward. There is a common belief that closure can only come from the other person but this puts the control in their hands, leaving you stuck waiting for them to speak up. Their silence already says a lot, and closure is something you have the power to find on your own.

Do not blame yourself: Shift your focus from blaming yourself to understanding their behaviour. It is easy to fall into the trap of self-blame after being ghosted but instead, consider this: What does their action say about them? Someone who is emotionally mature and secure would not ghost but would instead have a direct conversation. If they are ending things this way, think about how they would have handled challenges in the future. Relationships require tough talks, and their actions show they may not have been ready or willing to face those important conversations that help relationships grow.

Give yourself time: Allow yourself time to process and find a way to release your emotions. It might be tempting to bury your feelings but that will only delay your healing. When you are ready, give yourself a chance to express everything you never got to say. You can write a letter or record a voice memo to your ex, pouring out all your thoughts. Once you have done that, you can destroy or delete it as a symbolic way of letting go. Repeat this process as many times as you need until you feel like you have fully let go.

Wait for the right time: When you are ready, it is important to cut ties with the person who ghosted you. Constant reminders such as social media updates, old pictures or texts can decrease your healing process. Social media, in particular, can be harmful, as it often portrays a false image of someone's life without you, which can feel like a setback. Many people who have been ghosted still see their exes active on social media, which can be painful. To take control of your healing, consider removing these reminders - whether it is deleting old photos, tossing out mementos, or blocking them online. This step can help you reclaim your peace and move forward.

Do not dwell in the past: Ghosting can stir up old emotions tied to past relationships that ended suddenly or without closure. It may trigger feelings of grief from those unresolved endings, especially if they were never fully processed. Additionally, being ghosted can reinforce negative beliefs, like feeling unworthy or that people always leave. If you recognize these past wounds, give yourself time to heal and process those emotions. Seeking support, whether through a therapy session or support group, can provide the help you need as you work through this.

Do not blame yourself: When someone gets ghosted, it's easy to start blaming themselves and overthinking what went wrong. But this is the time to be kind and gentle with yourself, just like you would be with a good friend. If showing yourself compassion feels hard, think about what you would say to a friend going through the same thing. Use those same caring words and actions to support yourself as you heal.

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